I Used to Wonder
by Lyrical-Mindset
Summary: ...but then I met them Catorade Cat/Tori/Jade


**Reviews make me smile :)**

**A/N: Kind of sad I guess.**

**XOXO**

_**Jade's POV**_

I used to wonder what love was. Was it something that people wanted? Was it something you could give away easily? I always wondered. My parents were in love once, a long time ago. I was about 7. They used to tuck me in and read me a bedtime story every night. I wish that I didn't miss those moments so much. I remember the first time that I heard them fight. I couldn't tell what they were saying, but I knew that they were angry. Afterwards, I had asked my mom about it and she said not to worry. I then asked if they were going to leave each other. She said no.

By the time I was 8, the fights had gotten worse. One day after school my dad wasn't there. I asked where he was, but she said that she didn't know. My dad had come home really late that night. Then there was more fighting. I snuck downstairs to get a better listen.

_I don't want her! You take her!_

That was the day I realized that I was unwanted. Every other 8 year old girl in my class wanted a pony or a castle. Me, I just wanted somebody to want me. I used to cry myself to sleep over it, but as I got older I figured that my parents weren't worth my tears. They got divorced eventually and the judge said that they had to share me. They weren't too thrilled about that. Around the time that I turned 14, I discovered that I was a lesbian. They really didn't want me after that. They used to tell me that what I felt was wrong. Was love supposed to be wrong? I'm eighteen now. I used to wonder what love was, but then I met them.

_**Cat's POV**_

I used to wonder what trust was. Was it something that made you crazy? Did you get paid if you had it? I always wondered. I used to trust my parents once, a long time ago. I was about 7. I'd always had an overactive imagination. A lot of people didn't understand me. My brother understood. He even tried to copy me until my parents sent him away to a special place. I haven't seen him in a while. I hope he's ok because I'm not.

My parents thought that I was stupid. I kept telling them that it's just my imagination, but I guess that made me sound even crazier. I remember when the special doctor had visited. He asked me a few questions then left. Next thing I knew, my parents had a lot of money. It took me a while to figure out where it was coming from. It was coming from me. Apparently I had a mental disability or something. I didn't feel any different from others. I was actually smarter than most of the kids in my class. What kind of doctor was that anyway? I guess he was just one of those people that didn't understand. I saw him later in life. He had on a designer suit and was driving a sports car. I wonder how many other kids he diagnosed with a "mental disability".

When I was 12 I asked my mom why I didn't go where my brother went. She'd said that it was because she loved me more. I would've believed her had it not been for the five carat rings on her fingers. They were really pretty. I never got anything pretty.

I couldn't trust my parents. I didn't even trust them enough to tell them that I was a lesbian. Every day, as they walked in the house with the latest clothes and fanciest jewelry, they would kiss my forehead and tell me they loved me. I never believed it. Could you trust the people that you love? I'm eighteen now. I used to wonder what trust was, but then I met them.

_**Tori's POV**_

I used to wonder what respect was. Was it something that was given to you? Did it give you power? I always wondered. My parents used to respect me once, a long time ago. I was about 7. I was the typical first grader. I would bring home my accomplishments and they would be placed on the fridge. The most recent one was a test that I scored %100 on. My sister Trina never had anything placed on the fridge. It was something about how she wasn't good enough. One day I came home from school and saw something of Trina's on the fridge. I'd asked my dad what happened to my test. He said that he threw it away because it wasn't good enough. Trina had gotten a %110 on her test.

Nothing of mine has been on the fridge since then. When I was 13 I got my first 'F'. Big mistake. In my defense, Calculus was way too advanced for a seventh grader. I didn't get to eat for a week after that. Sure, I got the school lunch, but that was it. I even tried to sneak food, but that resulted in beatings.

They used to berate me with things like…

_Why can't you be more like Trina?_

_Why are you so fucking stupid?_

_Get above a %100 or you'll starve!_

I hated the last one the most. Most of the tests that I had taken didn't even have extra credit so how was I supposed to get above a %100? That's part of the reason why I'm so skinny now.

All hell broke loose when they found out that I was a lesbian. I won't go into detail, but you can imagine what it was like.

I lived in Trina's shadow for most of my life. All I wanted was to be a relevant member of the family. Is respect really hard to earn? My home life made me feel empty. Physically and emotionally. I tried cutting once, then twice, and then I just kept going. I'm proud to say that I've stopped since. I'm eighteen now.

I used to wonder what respect was, but then I met...

_**No POV**_

"Hey baby, what are you writing about?" Cat asked Tori who was writing in her journal. After hearing about each other's histories they had all gotten journals. It helped keep them sane now that they were in their freshman year of college. It also helped that they were in a dorm room together.

"You and Jadey." Tori smiled as she closed the journal before turning around to kiss Cat.

"I heard my name." Jade grinned as she made her way into living room.

"Jadey come here." Cat giggled as she pulled Jade down to sit beside her. She then climbed into Jade's lap.

Jade smirked. "I'm starting to think that you're a real cat. You always like being in people's laps." She tightened her arms around the redhead.

"Not people, just you and Tori." Cat explained with a giggle.

"So Jade and I aren't people?" Tori laughed.

"Of course not silly." Tori looked at Jade confused.

"You and Jade are different. You guys understand me and I understand you guys. You two are the only ones that I can trust. You've never let me down, ever. I didn't know what trust was until I met you guys."

Tori and Jade smiled at Cat's heartfelt words. They pulled her into a long hug and smothered her face with kisses.

"Look at me." Jade requested. She was met with two pairs of chocolate eyes.

"Our relationship is made of love, trust, and respect. Don't ever forget that."

_**The End**_

**A/N: I apologize for that horrible last line…..**

**I'm going to stop writing oneshots and start writing updates to my actual stories.**


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